Integrus Blog

10 Top Tips for a More Successful Conversation

10 October 2020 | Colours, Conversation, Conversion, Peter Sylvester, Sales

Here at INTEGRUS, we pride ourselves on showing our clients how to increase your Sales Success – from 1/10 to 8/10 conversations.  And one of the main elements is –


Being able to hold a meaningful dialogue with a friend, colleague, boss or potential client is an invaluable talent and one which most people don’t spend much time cultivating

“Over time, I came to realise that conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach – in our schools and in our business lives,” says Peter Sylvester.

“Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, but rarely do they have an opportunity to hone their interpersonal communications skills.

It might sound like a funny question, but we have to ask ourselves:

“Is there any 21st-century skill more important than being able to sustain a coherent, confident conversation?”

That is the genius of billionaire media mogul Oprah Winfrey: She has never lost her passion for listening to and learning from people.

“The thing that strikes me — and this is why Oprah is successful — is the look on her face and what everyone can see in her eyes is her vulnerability,” says Peter

Anyone who meets Oprah will tell you that she is an incredibly humble human who was really looking to have an authentic interaction with them and I am sure this is what has driven her success.”

The thing that makes her get up and do that work that she does every day is that genuine desire to connect with people and be vulnerable and to be open to what is going to happen next.

And that kind of curiosity has driven her to these great heights.

Some people forget that one big thing that got them to where they are.

And everyone knows that the mark of success is staying open in that whole way – and communicating effectively with the other person.

10 Top Tips

While the following 10 tips, won’t necessarily turn you into the next Oprah, they will help you become a better communicator.

  1. Don’t multitask.
    If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don’t be half in it and half out of it.
  2. Don’t pontificate.
    A conversation isn’t a forum where you should expect to express your opinion unchallenged.
  3. Use open-ended questions.
    Any question that CAN be answered with “yes” or “no”, will be. That closes the communication loop, and the opportunity dries up with it.  Open-ended questions tend to start with Who, What, When, Where and (most importantly) WHY
  4. Go with the flow.
    Don’t force a conversation to go where you expected it to. Adapt. Speak THEIR language, on THEIR terms in THEIR COLOUR
  5. Don’t know…?  Say So..!  
    Don’t pretend you’re an expert when you’re not.
  6. Don’t equate your experience with the other person’s. 
    If they’re talking about having lost a family member, don’t start talking about the time you lost a family member. If they’re talking about the trouble they’re having at work, don’t tell them about how much you hate your job
    It’s not the same. It is never the same.
    All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it is not about you. You don’t need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you’ve suffered.
    It’s not about YOU..!
  7. Don’t repeat yourself.
    It’s really boring, and you will rapidly lose your audience.
    One other thing…
    Don’t repeat yourself.
    It’s really boring
    (see what I did there..?)
  8. 10 Top Tips for a More Successful Conversation…Don’t get lost in the details. 
    63% of people just don’t care – and the rest will need time to take it all in.
  9. Listen.
    I cannot tell you how many really important people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skill that you could develop
    Buddha said, and I’m paraphrasing, ‘If your mouth is open, you’re not learning.’ And Calvin Coolidge said, ‘No man ever listened his way out of a job.'”
  10. Be brief.
    A good conversation doesn’t have to last all day.

To find out more about the Art of Great Communication, and how to increase your Sales Success to 8/10 conversations, start by taking this FREE quiz online NOW – you will be amazed..!

And then just pop along to one of our Integrus sessions – you will be glad you did it…

This content is produced by Peter Sylvester who is the Founder of Integrus Global.

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